I'm slowing things down in my life and at both my homes at the moment.
After lots of soul searching, long dog walks with the wind in our faces and our minds free to wander. Cosy evenings of long chats over wine and coffee, and lots of discussions, we have both agreed a course of action that will see us both happier in what we have chosen to do.
We don't want to run out of time to be happy we have chosen to be happy now, and with some compromise on both our parts ... like proper grown ups do ... we have found our way forward.
We are continuing to downscale our belongings, selling at the car boot sales and on Facebook Marketplace everything that is surplus to requirements and that can make us some money to add to our little pot of savings.
We will work on our Welsh home over the course of the next year to get it into a perfect state to put on the market ... if all goes to plan in late Spring of next year, and once our current tenant decides to leave our little flat near Llandudno we will claim it back and make it our own. Redecorating, and redesigning what is there to make it our small and simple home and office space.
Of course while all this is going on I will still be living my Smaller life over the border in England. You know the one I mean ... it involves copious amounts of coffee, ridiculously long lie-ins or early morning baking, and lots and lots of little Puggy dog walks along riverbanks and canals.
Alan's office base will be at home in Wales, from where he will supervise the building work that need to be done to the house, and bit by bit bring the chaos that is our little Welsh hillside under control ready for passing it along to the next owner.
And we will meet up at weekends or mid-week, whenever there is the chance to be together when we want to be. To do the things we want to do together ... when we have done the things we want to do independently.
A very grown-up solution.
I knew I would have to grow up a little bit one day!!
Sue xx
Wow - all the very best for these ventures. Compromise is brilliant and I love that you have both found your way forward.
ReplyDeletexx
It's taken a lot of talking but we think we've compromised brilliantly this time.
DeleteI hope all goes smoothly.
ReplyDeleteThank you :-)
DeleteYour right life is complicated, but it is up to us to slow it down and simplify it, this year is the last of living a fairly crazy hetic life for us, things will be changing, I really love this blog Sue I resonate with all you are saying/writing about, for me personally in the last few years I am really(still am) changing as a person, not sure if it is my midlife crisis(do you have a crisis at the age of 51?) I just crave for simplicity but I know I am not doing enough to make it happen, so its time to get my shit together I think and get on with it! I have had several blogs on and off throughout the years but stopped for various reasons I started this new one this month but am going to have a "Main" one which I am going to start in a few weeks, about simplifying life, I have talked about it for long enough action has to be taken, sorry I am waffling now. x
ReplyDeleteIf I can have a crisis at 59 ... you can have one at 51 :-)
DeleteI think if we realise that change is necessary ... and can be good ... and go with what is really in our hearts, life can be good ... really good.
It's a wasted life if you follow the path you're on just because it was one that you have always been on, unless it's the one that you know you love.
Great decision, have you seen the Australian blog "Down to Earth" soooo full of wonderful ideas to help along the way, older posts cover everything you could need.
DeleteI used to read Rhonda's blog every day ... indeed her blog is on my sidebar here ... and I have her books. There are some similarities between our styles but I feel there are are less now.
DeleteA good plan, wishing you every happiness. I tried growing up and I didn't like it so decided just to do grown up things when necessary ( 63 years old ) :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant .... yes I too am only a grown up for brief spells ;-)
DeleteGreat news Sue and a great plan of action. Good luck with everything. I am glad you have both come to a sensible plan and agreement and are still happy together (and independently).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we have worked it out ... you don't throw away fifteen years of your life if there is a way forward.
DeleteGood luck with your plans Sue.
ReplyDeleteThank you Debbie. xx
DeleteLong time reader, and I am pretty sure, first time commenter. All of this is resonant to my bones (with generality of course). My husband and I are still in the young family stage and we have taken an independent way (similar but different)- seperate bedrooms. Simple, more and more minimal, together yet independent.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have shared on this blog and your others has always been inspiring in the most authentic and genuine way. Thank you.
Yours sounds perfect for you as your life is now. If only more people could be sensible and find a way that works for them instead of ending marriages at the first sign of niggles. We choose our life partners because they are what we want, yes we change through life, but how much better is it if we can change together and find a way forwards.
DeleteYou're going through the hardest phase of all, having young children. If you can come through this you will come through anything life has to throw at you. xx
It's lovely to hear your plans have been settled and sorted. Enjoy the together bits while you can. you just never know whats round the corner
ReplyDeleteWe got there in the end :-)
DeleteSo true Sue, we should enjoy everything life has to chuck at us while we can. xx
Sue you will always be young at heart, and a positive problem solver like your Nana and your Dad. I am sure that it will work out for you , Bye for now Love MUM XXXX
ReplyDeleteThank you Mum. xx
DeleteYet another adventure for you both and a great plan for along the way. Well done!
ReplyDeleteLife would be staid without adventures to liven things up.
DeleteThis way we both play to our own strengths ... mine drinking coffee and walking dogs and Alan's supervising building work. We did it the other way around last time ... no wonder things didn't work out ;-)
I am so glad a compromise was reached.
ReplyDeleteAs Margie says another adventure awaits and the challenges leading to a simple life are slowly being met and done away with.
God bless.
We are both relieved too, but it's nice now that we have now have a plan for the future together.
DeleteIt was clear from your blog that something was amiss Sue and I am so pleased for you that a compromise has been made and that your life will now settle down on a new path. As you probably know from dipping in to my own blog,we are in the process of making changes to our lifestyle too. We didn't want to leave our park home lifestyle but circumstances (in this case G's health) have made the decision for us. We just have to knuckle down and get on with it. Your caravan looks lovely, by the way, so peaceful and inviting. Good luck in everything you do Sue x
ReplyDeleteWe have had a blip this year, but that's what a grown up relationship is all about isn't it. Now that we have resolved things and compromised in a really good way for both of us, we can move forwards again, slowly and simply and each in our own way.
DeleteIt sounds like you too have worked things out well taking into account G's health. It is going to be so exciting watching your new home take shape, and how lovely that you have some input into some of the finishes. We chose our finishes for the little flat too, right at the beginning before the foundations were even dug and it was lovely to finally step into the finished product and see that our choices had all worked out well.
While we paid off the small mortgage that we raised on our Welsh home we have had tenants in the flat, luckily with the help of the management company that we hired, our property has been well looked after and all we will need to do to make it our own again ready for moving into is a quick coat of fresh paint and perhaps new carpets.
Thank you for your good wishes. xx
Your compromise sounds perfect to me. Good luck! I'm well jel of the flat in Llandudno. I spent a few days there again last week!
ReplyDeleteIt's a five or ten minute drive from Llandudno (depending on how many tourists are on the road) and it's tiny, but I love it and it has a nice small garden ... just big enough for the dogs to play and sunbathe.
DeleteWe stayed in a one bed flat and it was a joy. The only thing missing was outside space but it ws very close to the beach so not so bad. Your place sounds absolutely perfect! I'm sure you'll feel much happier without the responsibility of the larger house and land.
DeleteI am so happy for you to hear that you have come to such a good compromise for you both. I know that feeling of life getting away from you and as we get older we come to realize that we don't want to waste the time we have left. At least that is how I feel and I'm still struggling on how to best handle it. You are setting a good example of the fact that there are many different ways of dealing with these things in a manner that all can be happy. And you do know that even grown ups have to hang on to a little bit of their personal Peter Pan!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes time to work out the way forward especially when there are two of you to consider, but we managed it in the end :-)
DeleteI'm glad you have come to a good decision for both of you. Can I be cheeky though and ask what will happen to the sheep and her lamb? I assume you'll have to rehome them? I can't quite imagine sheep in a flat! I wish you lots of happiness as you move forward. x
ReplyDeleteIt's not cheeky I bet a lot of folk were wondering.
DeleteEthel and Jasmine are currently away from our land with Will's flock on fresh grazing. It's that time of year when lambs are separated from their Mum's for weaning purposes. After a few weeks they will all be reunited but a selection of Will's lambs will be off to market, then Ethel and Jasmine will come back to us ... along with a small flock of the lambs Will is keeping for breeding from.
Ethel is now a very elderly lady and having a lamb has taken it out of her a bit so we don't think she will have much longer. Once she passes naturally, and unfortunately that probably means sometime over the next year, it has been agreed with Will that he will have Jasmine to add to his breeding programme as he is very impressed with her, she will add a bit of fresh blood to his flock and run on the hillside with friends she has already made.
I'm so pleased you both managed to find a solution. You have a clear plan and can work towards it which helps, plus you can enjoy your independent life too. So much of what you've said and not said resonates with me. I hate being in this limbo land.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand any sense of limbo, it drives me mad. I get really annoyed with myself when I dither over things, so I'm glad we have reached compromises that suit us both.
DeleteHi Sue, how wonderful to read of your forthcoming and exciting plans♥ Your heading is perfect "a smaller and simpler life" it's the future:) xx
ReplyDeleteIt really is :-)
DeleteYour Plans sound well thought out. We too are trying to downsize and simplify Life some and it is indeed a long Process, especially for me since I tended to be a maximalist so long now that minimizing is going to take supreme effort! My Mom was from Flint, N. Wales, beautiful countryside... I couldn't believe she made a Home here in the Desert when my Dad retired from the Military, such a stark contrast from her Homeland. I think she always did miss how Green everything was... and her final years were spent in California with my Brother, near the Ocean, more like Home for her.
ReplyDeleteWow, your Mom really went from one extreme to the other, what a brave and adventurous sounding woman. I couldn't live without green in my life and being near the sea is important too. I'm glad your Mom got back near the ocean in her final years.
DeleteDownsizing and minimising can be a long process, we've been at it over and over again for a few years ... but this time we are nearing completion and it's a good feeling.