Monday, 29 March 2021

Be Gentle

 


I think we are all feeling a bit up and down at the moment.  

So many blogging friends are finding life hard, as are friends and family in the 'real world'.  It can take one word said out of place or not thought through properly to trigger a downward sliding of dramatic proportions.  

We all seem quick to judge, and yes I include myself in that.  I purposefully keep away from the computer and away from the Comments boxes when I feel in one of the moods that make me quick to pass a judgement or have a thought that is not really mine to make.

Of course the trolls and the Anonymous' of this world don't bother, and spew their vitriol for all to read, making no-one but themselves look bad.  Why is the anonymous written word so much less friendly than the named or spoken one.  

It stood out to me the other night on Channel Four's 'The Circle', instead of a game where all the contestants could see who was writing what suddenly they were given the opportunity to pass comments on each other anonymously ... and boy oh boy did the gloves come off.  This is one of the few reality type tv shows that I watch, as while it is still relatively new the psychological aspect of it still intrigues me the way Big Brother did for the first couple of series. 


I think ... and yes this is just my opinion on my blog ... that not just for a little bit longer but for a lot longer we need to be gentle with each other.  Kinder, take words at face value and if they seem harsh question when they are, sometimes they are not meant in the way they are said.  We need to learn gentler ways of communication with each other and have eyes that smile, while the smile we aim at strangers is still hidden behind a mask.

Have a good day, and hopefully with the promised sunshine tomorrow a few spirits will be lifted and we will all enjoy a lightening not just of the sky but also of our moods and our hearts.

Sue xx



19 comments:

  1. I only had to see a trailer for the first series of The Circle to know it was something I would never watch . . . the whole premise seems remarkably unpleasant to me, but what do I know?

    You are right about how it only takes "one comment". But that is the fault of evolution - our brains are wired to pay far more attention to something which might cause us harm (think sabre tooth tiger slinking along the tree line looking for a two-legged lunch) rather than those things which are no threat (everyone in your village saying 'hi' on the way to get water).

    Technology has evolved far more speedily than evolution can possibly keep up with so we are unlikely to be able to change that natural behaviour any time soon. But I do love the meme (from Brooke Hampton I think) which says something like "7 billion people in the world and you are going to let ONE a***hat ruin your day?"

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    1. It's a very good programme (except for the constant screeching) to show people the advantages and disadvantages of social media.

      Yes, sadly it's always easier to believe the negative than the positive. Brooke is having a bit of a hard time recently and has been re-evaluating a lot of what she says, as she admitted she fell down a bit of a wormhole with some more recent meme's and posts, she upset a LOT of people.

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    2. I did not know Brooke was having a difficult time, because I do not follow her on any particular channel, I just occasionally come across one of her meme's shared somewhere.

      The people she upset probably need to look at themselves, not her.

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    3. No, it was Brooke in the wrong this time, well not so much in the wrong as sharing very controversial views as though they were facts, when really they were more personal opinions.

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  2. Look at that sunflower growing out of the wall. Goodness will prevail, I keep telling myself...

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  3. You have summed up exactly how I feel at the moment. I am doing my best to avoid blowing up at my bubble friend - who somehow managed to get her first vaccine shot already - and who won't shut up about it. She knows that I am upset about this - and I change the topic immediately as soon as she brings it up - which she does repeatedly! She shows no sensitivity whatsoever and while I know this is her way (it's always Me, Me, Me) I am about at the end of my rope right now. I will be doing my best to avoid people in general for the next few days as I don't want to blow up at the wrong person but it wouldn't take much!

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  4. Sue I agree-be gentle, be kind. We are never going to know everything that is going on and has been going on in people's lives for them to feel that they need to comment and potentially upset other people. Unkind thoughts and deeds must make the person carrying them out feel more negative too. It's a beautiful day and I hope you're enjoying it x

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  5. The sunshine is wonderful and the temperature on the Essex coast is 18 and rising. Better than was forecast, already I can see the mental clouds of lockdown lifting. Many will choose not to meet up outside still but I think it's the fact that we have a choice now that is helping too. I will finally see dmy youngest daughter on Friday when the forecast isnt so good.....but I dont care. I think comments can be harsh even when they are not meant to be because we write succinctly leaving out chunks that would give a better understanding. Enjoy the sunshine ☀️☀️

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  6. I avoid all social media except blogging and a few Facebook groups which are handy for finding out about local happenings.
    Also haven't watched that programme or seen anything nasty written anywhere, So either I'm doing the right thing to avoid aggravation or I live with my head in the sand!!

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  7. It is so difficult sometimes, I feel myself biting my lip on a regular basis and as I have gotten older my patience is not what it was. I could have easily lost it with people in the supermarket today who kept going the wrong way or reaching across me to get something or stand in the middle of an aisle chatting but I just floated around muttering "idiots" and floated out. I have to take a moment to think before I speak , this helps but sometimes it's too much and I feel I will burst so it's best for me to avoid possible confrontational circumstances, this is especially hard with my son who has mood swings because of his problems and I get both barrels, I just have to remember that it's not him and minutes late he has got over it and we are laughing as his trousers fall down. Enjoy the sunshine, have a coffee and a bun and stroke something warm and furry, and life is good. Chrissie x

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  8. Lovely, Sue. I struggled mightily for the right words when I saw our own dear Pat being pilloried for what she eats. I believe I know who it is. She has moved from target to target. My question: why on earth does she feel as if it is her God given job to fault find and nitpick everyone's words. I disagree sometimes with things that I read. I move on. I don't see the need to destroy people with my words. You are right. We can choose kindness. We must choose kindness. Thank you for your kind and gracious post.

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  9. Your words are so true. We have all been through a difficult year like no other year we have ever seen. We should always be kind and gentle with one another but now especially.

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  10. I agree and sometimes it is simply a case of keeping one's own counsel. I try very hard not to engage with situations where tensions are running high. Arilx

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  11. I echo Bonnie's remarks. This past year has been extraordinarily difficult. As we come back out into the light and freedom of the "normal" world a kind and gentle manner is needed more than ever.

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  12. Well said Sue. As my dear mum used to say if you can't say anything nice say nothing at all. Kindness costs nothing let's embrace it and be gentle with one another x

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    1. In another life I must be your Mum! The start of that saying , I think, was in the film Bambi that I saw as a child. I have seen that writing comments can cause offence and often perhaps with no intent.

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  13. I really agree, we need to be kinder to each other. We need to stop and think before we speak or write.

    God bless.

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  14. I blame the push towards screens for social interaction. Face to face conversations are becoming rare among younger people. You can say what you like to someone via a screen, and they won't yell in your face. People are very volatile at the moment, best to switch off.

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  15. I saw The Circle advertised but the trailer made it look awful but they way you've described the show's premise sounds really interesting. I loved Big Brother when it first started and was more about psychology than people using it as a springboard to being a celebrity. One of my friends used to be married to Nasty Nick (remember him?) xxx

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