Thursday, 19 May 2022

A Storm in a Teacup ... or a Slippery Slope?

 


Why are so many people on social media in such a bad mood!!

Why are so many people posting negative and just downright rude messages to people who post on Facebook, Twitter, TikTok and to a slightly lesser extent on Instagram, YouTube and here in Blogland, is there really any reason to take your own unhappiness, anger or simply bad mood out on other people to try to drag them down to your level. 

 Do people that for one reason or another put their lives out there for others to read about or watch really have to put up with people that actually have no interest in their lives firing off nasty, rude and negative comments just for commenting's sake.

Let me just clarify that I am not accusing any of my lovely regular readers of any nasty intentions or nit-picking but I am suddenly seeing, on many platforms, the reason that so many people are now being labelled as 'snowflakes' 'Karens' and much, much worse.  Oh, who would be called Karen in this day and age ... I really feel for you, a couple of my best friends at school were called Karen. 

Yesterday Thrifty Lesley was called out on Facebook for calling her page 'Thrifty Lesley - For Fabulously Frugal Food' and told that she was part of the problem.  That frugal food wasn't fabulous and she should be out there rallying, writing to her MP or indeed standing for parliament herself not posting recipes that help people make the best out of what they have.

What the actual F*CK !!

Madeleine Olivia was jumped on last week by numerous people for daring to share a recipe for Chickpea Tuna on her TikTok and told how disgustingly awful it and all vegan food was, while over on Instagram ... which is still usually a lot more civilised ... she had nothing but praise and 'yumms' etc.

  When did we stop following our Grannies advice and just keeping our mouths shut and our fingers off the keyboard if we had nothing nice or at the very least constructive to say?

So what's your opinion on this, is it just a storm in a teacup or a more worrying downward trend in a lack of compassion, manners and common decency?


Sue xx



39 comments:

  1. They feel anonymous so think they can post anything.

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  2. I totally agree Sue. Some of these squabbles have been painful to watch, particularly when there appears to be no foundation whatsoever. I fail to understand the motivation of internet trolls, and always think of that sad lady who trolled the McCanns, thinking she would never be exposed. When she was, she couldn't live with the exposure.

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  3. From my experience, it is a trend. I see it all over the place, and it makes me sad. Though I must admit: Sometimes, when I have a bad day, I have to work hard not to follow that stupid trend. Luckily, I usually type a nasty comment if something riles me up and then come to my senses and click delete instead of post - and then keep my mouth shut on the topic. I wish more people would do that.

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  4. With the exception of your blog and a couple of others I don't use social media at all now. I have a Facebook account but that's it and I don't post anything. I have a friend who uses Facebook to post all her illnesses and personal problems!!!! Sadly I think it is a downward trend - people use keyboards to hide behind and to speak their minds regardless of anyone's feelings. Fiona x

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  5. Sue, I agree with you WHY? My friend closed her blog down as the nasty comments were really upsetting her and she is such a nice person.

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  6. You are absolutely right, Sue! It is sad to see and brings me down. I blame our last US president who was rude and emboldened others to be rude too! Too much anger and hate these days.

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  7. I agree with you...There are some posts I see on blogs I read, or on FB, which I really don't agree with...So I either pass on by, or I comment politely disagreeing. I don't understand why there is such a culture of ignorance and rudeness.

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  8. A very good reason that I have nothing to do with any social media except for looking at the village Face book page and Blogland. I am happily ignorant about any nastiness and will stay that way

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  9. It's sad to see the direction that much of society has taken. People have lost the art of true communication and the ability to agree to disagree respectfully. That's the key, I think. There's no respect for others, especially with the anonymity of the internet.

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  10. I am getting really good at hitting the Unsubscribe button on any blog that leaves me feeling stressed, bullied or otherwise disturbed by comments about how dreadful everything is and how none of us should be happy, feel safe, or have a nice life and that the apocalypse is just around the corner.

    We are the same age Sue, and I bet you were also told "if you cannot say something nice, don't say anything at all". Social media has made it too easy for sad, angry people to kick-off at anyone who doesn't agree with them (or perhaps it's jealousy?) I do not have a FB account, deleted Instagram and have no interest in any other platforms.

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    1. I am a bad blogging buddy ... I apologise. I have only just realised that your blog has vanished. I understand completely as I have been on the verge of stopping a few times over the last year, each time I come back from the brink ... but one day I will topple over it I fear.

      Yes, we are the same age ... you snuck a birthday in just recently didn't you? And yes I was taught that, although by someone who didn't follow her own instruction. I have stopped following quite a few blogs over the last couple of years, some for their closed-mindedness, some because of their ridiculous viewpoints (although I slipped quietly away and kept schtumm) and some because they started trying to teach me things I didn't want to be taught.

      We have the choice and if we use it wisely all is well.

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  11. I fear it is the latter. Lack of face to face communication with people (perhaps caused during Lockdown) seems to make people forget how it feels when someone is rude to your face and let's accept it, most people wouldn't say things like that face to face. That's an awful lot of faces - sorry!

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  12. A slippery slope I fear. I really do not understand why readers feel the need to vent or leave unkind remarks, if you don’t like the blog, don’t read it seems the sensible answer. I don’t read a paper or magazine I disagree with or a book that upsets me. There used to be so many wonderful creative bloggers who now reside on Instagram I understand. I don’t use social media apart from blog reading, far too complicated for an ancient such as me but do miss the patchwork, knitting and homemaking bloggers who were inspirational and generous with their expertise. I admire anyone who blogs, puts their name out there and expresses an opinion, thank you. Sarah Browne.

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  13. I follow several blogs and comment occasionally. No FB, Twitter, etc. If something is posted that bothers me, I hit the delete key or unsubscribe rather than lash out.

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  14. I, too, have been flabbergasted by comments on some of the blogs I read (don't participate on any other social media)--to the point where I have to stop reading them because I get angry or hurt on behalf of the blogger. The absolute viciousness of some commenters is astounding. And why? What possible reason could anyone give to justify being so vile? Evidently, their mothers/grannies didn't pass on the old maxim that if you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Or maybe their overactive bile production is simply a bad genetic trait. :)

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  15. I totally agree with you. I only follow a handful of blogs and don't wish to do any other social media but I have seen the rude and spiteful comments on John's blog recently. I can't understand why people need to be so mean and yes I too go along with the saying - if you can't say something nice then say nothing at all. Why do people read a blog just be nasty on it! I don't get it at all.

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    1. John puts up with a lot from some of his not so nice commenters and generously always gives them the benefit of the doubt and second, and even third chances to behave. I'm afraid I'm not so generous and the few that have tried to appear over here never even get to see their vitriol in print. They soon fizzle out.

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    2. That is the bit I don't understand. Why the blogger doesn't delete the nasty comments? Why does the blogger feel a need to 'be kind' and let them cr*p in my comments??

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  16. I am called Karen and have never found it to be a problem

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    1. That’s not to say I like the name; I’d love to be called something more interesting!

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  17. I find I’m going back to visit just those who are life affirming rather than challenging. Probably lays me open to accusations of being in an echo chamber. But. I really don’t care. I’ll stick to those I love to read ❤️

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  18. Oh and I love the bag from Twice! I’m just about to have one wall painted in F&B Inchyra which is where Twice was based and I once went there on a flower course with Snapdragon Jane. Small world in blogland sometimes.

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    1. Yes, we were blogging buddies way back in the day. In fact I went back onto my old blog just now to see when I got my bag ... and some other baskets too ... and it was August 2010!! I do use it occasionally for shopping as it folds up nice and small but at the moment it's been holding bags of crisps from a case of 24 packs that i bought a while a go ... and the dried eucalyptus from my birthday bouquet.

      See here - https://ournewlifeinthecountry.blogspot.com/2010/08/basket-case.html

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  19. I find it incredibly sad that some people feel the need to be abusive or rude with their comments. On some blogs I will occasionally come across a post I don't agree with, so I just scroll on by, or in some cases I will unsubscribe. It is possible for a difference of opinion to be expressed politely. LIfe is far too short to be filled with so much hatred. Xx

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  20. From my (very limited) observations, this seems to go hand-in-hand with the kind of dogmatic attitude shown by many of the so-called "elites": I'm right, and if you dare to disagree with me then you must be one of the lowest forms of humanity (usually accompanied by accusations of racism of similar).
    Any kind of rational and constructive discussion seems increasingly to be impossible, and acknowledging that other viewpoints may have validity is an alien concept to many of these people.

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  21. Have a sweet day Bloggers! This may sound off topic but it takes just as much energy to wish someone a good day as it does to be nasty. The world is a stressful place...Can you make someone's day with a kind word or at least read in silence??? PS: I'm glad you enjoyed your get-away even though I cannot do the same for a variety of reasons. Our lives may be very different but I enjoy reading about yours because it is a difference in perspective and maybe it will strike a chord or teach me something.

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  22. I think that it is a slippery slope. To be perfectly honest with you, I believe that nasty comments should be deleted without response. They are trying to incite a confrontation, and I believe that they will get bored and go some place else if they don't get it. People will disagree, and there is no reason that they cannot state their opinion on the subject respectfully without being blasted for being 'a troll', but to carry it further, or to insult people is inexcusable.

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  23. Everybody's life is different and we all have our own way of coping with the problems we face. I find reading blogs helps me get over my downward slide and gives me lots of good ideas to try. People should learn to just move if they don't like what someone has to say. Negativity just does not cut it.

    God bless.

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  24. Oh Sue, I do agree with you also. It makes me feel sick when I see what you so aptly called "a trend in a lack of compassion, manners and common decency". I believe strongly in treating others with kindness, compassion, and respect. I try to avoid and never respond to the hateful statements you see too often now but these days you never know when it will come up. I very much appreciate blogs like yours that are filled with kindness and compassion!

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  25. I agree with Will (several posts above). Society has coarsened in the last 10-15 years. (Trump is only an example, not the reason--it was happening long before he discovered Twitter). I am an opinionated person (but not a troll) and I try not to be a bitch online or in person. I have noticed that you can say something in person and repeat it in writing and it won't be understood in the same way...even word for word. Also, sometimes I will delete a post before I hit Publish. If I happen to lose a post in cyberspace, I don't rewrite it--I think it is Someone's way of telling me to keep my mouth shut.

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  26. People being rude or even downright nasty on social media seems to be a worldwide issue. New Zealand's finance budget was announced yesterday and people below a certain threshold of wages/salary are to get $27 a week for three months - admittedly not a lot but to see the comments from so many people you would have thought the Govt was offering them poison!! Something else my grandmother used to say: Misery makes miserable bedfellows. Audrey from Rotorua, New Zealand

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  27. I totally agree with you - I've seen comments left on people's blogs an threads that any decent person should be thoroughly ashamed of descending to. It's truly sad. I go with the 'If you can't say something nice . . .' ethos, personally and if I do have something difficult to say, I try so hard to make it respectful.
    Poor Lesley (and others) - she's such a lovely, kind person too.
    xx

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  28. I really enjoy reading your blog and agree that people seem to take a delight in being nasty. Like you, I just slip away from blogs if I find them offensive or dogmatic. Catriona

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  29. It is so sad that people can’t be nice or just hold their tongue. If they don’t like a particular site, just stop visiting. It’s so simple……therefore it will never work. You keep doing what you do, and I know I will enjoy reading your tales.

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  30. I think it's a very real and worrying trend that people are becoming very aggressive and unkind on social media. I refuse to use TikTok, Instagram, Twitter and so on because they make me feel very uncomfortable. I hate it when people film things that they shouldn't be filming too, like accidents and assaults. It's all part of the same trend I fear. One of my favourite bloggers has changed dramatically during the pandemic and I've had to stop reading the depressing and ranting posts because they make me feel really down.
    Long live the happy, cheerful and giggle inducing blogs which I read on a regular basis. Yes, Sue, like yours my lovely x

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  31. Sue, unfortunately I think the negative, hateful attitude in many will not go away soon. Our society has changed so much in the last 20 years here in America. I think the rude people are miserable inside because they lack love and don’t understand grace. When gentle conversations are rejected I avoid those people. I have found each day has enough worry and I prefer to surround myself with those who look on the bright side and enjoy the life I have. Your blog is one of those bright spots in my day! Appreciate all the time you devote to it!

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  32. It feels like another example of the few spoiling things for the majority. I admire people who Blog these days as attitudes certainly seem to have changed and not always for the better. Appreciate your blog Sue, a bright spot in my day so I very much hope that you don't stop blogging.
    Alison in Wales

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  33. How sad that Madeleine Olivia received that negative feedback on Tik Tok. I enjoy watching her on You Tube.

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