We label everything by productivity
We meet new people and ask in an interested voice 'What do you do then?' Almost putting pressure on folks to come up with something interesting that we can be awed at.
We ask our children when we meet them at the school gate 'What did you do today?' Their response unless something absolutely amazing has happened is usually a standard 'nothing'.
It used to really bug me and have me asking 'did you do this' or 'did you do that' I know I used to drive them mad, until one day I realised that they were home ... happy, still in one piece and hungry for their tea ... that was all I needed to know. Parents evenings would fill in the gaps, or conversations over our evening meal would pull out snippets of information in a much less pressurised way.
There seems to be so much expectation in today's world that we will always be moving forward. Striving for the next thing, the next possession, the next experience, the next anything.
How refreshing it is not to be.
I can get stroppy when people ask me, but only if they push for more than my first answer. Then I revert to the childish 'nothing' or 'nowhere' or 'I don't know'. It can shut up a conversation, but I don't always need a conversation, I am happy in the silences, in the un-pressured quiet of a lull in proceedings.
I already am.
Sue xx
Well said, I can really relate to this. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you :-)
DeleteMy reply is always ‘as little as possible’ when asked what I do, that puts them on them on the back foot.
ReplyDeleteA perfect response :-)
DeleteI think this constant need to "be doing" or "producing" or "acquiring" or "advancing" is what breeds our modern discontent with life in general. If we aren't buying something new, going somewhere exotic, or somehow "improving ourselves" (usually by losing weight) then somehow we aren't good enough - it's exhausting! No wonder so many just can't cope anymore and resort to alcohol or drugs to numb themselves - run up credit cards to show the world they truly belong - or even - give up and commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that in the western world where so many of us have so much that contentment seems to be the hardest thing to achieve.
Exactly Margie, well said :-)
DeleteA friend of ours who works very long hours, 12+ a day (by choice, he's self employed) is always saying 'I suppose you've had your feet up all day' with a smirk. I always reply something like 'Yes...and?'. The implication is that seeing as husband and I no longer go out to work, we must be doing nothing. We don't do nothing, we have plenty of things that we do, but we have the luxury of choosing when to do them....or indeed not, putting them off till another day if we feel like it. And we don't feel the need to justify what we do or don't do. It's nobody's business but ours. And we consider ourselves very fortunate to have our lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteThese sort of comments really piss me off, I used to get it all the time, I chose to be a full time mum for the first few years after our son was born and then I worked just part time but some family members just treated me like I was a lazy cow. I have give up caring what people think about us anymore, we don't need to jusify our actions to anyone. Take us or leave us I say.
DeleteI don't know what happened my comment went AWOL. I'm retired and love it. When asked I often reply.....I've done all the usual things i did as well as working full time!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a a stroppy teenager I used to get really annoyed when my dad asked me every evening what had happened at work. I didn't like my job and was glad to be home and forget about it.
ReplyDeleteI loved your comments. I worked full time for 37 years - Teaching. When I retired I had used up my energy. Or I am congenitally lazy. Who cares. I knit a bit; I write a bit; I garden a bit. I don' want to rush any more.
ReplyDeleteOur appraisal system (when I worked in my full time job) are used to drive me mad. I argued long and hard but not everyone had aspirations to progress, to advanced a higher grade, to stretch themselves. Some people simply wanted to work, to do their job as was expected of them and go home the end of the day. And we need people like that, people on the ground who do basic work, the jobs which support all those people who do want to progress. It infuriated me when I had to ask my staff what they wanted to achieve over the next year. Some of them didn't want to achieve anything other than to do what they were paid to do.
ReplyDeleteI almost laught when someone says to me. ' have you got the day off, are you doing anything nice?' I then reply, ' no, I don't go out to work, I'm a housewife'. They can normally just about come out with 'Oh' . I think they think that means flicking a duster around in some 1950s attire and flicking through magazines! I love my life and we've worked hard for me to be able to be at home. Our home life is simple compared to a lot of people and we're very happy it :)
ReplyDeleteThe last time someone looked at me and demanded to know what I did all day i answered, "Anything I damned well pleased." It was a short conversation. Enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteThe strange thing is I find myself busier now than when I worked. I usually answer the "What do you do?" question, with "What don't I do."
ReplyDeleteGod bless.