Wednesday 7 June 2023

Shopping Differently, Being Gentle with People

 


I've started shopping differently recently.

Obviously I'm using up a lot of what I already have, so I don't really need to do a 'big shop' ... unless there are genuine reasons for doing that (more on that another day).  I find myself taking longer in the shop, enjoying the process more, and coming home much happier and more satisfied with my purchases.

This week for instance the above is all I needed, so that was all I bought.

The bananas are all 'singles', I smile every time I see the box that the single bananas get put into in our Booths supermarket.  It's message changes slightly some days, but basically it is a chalked note that says ... 'I'm single, can I come home with you?'

Happily 🍌


I'm not the only one shopping differently.

Since she became housebound my Mum's way of shopping has changed, for one thing my brother gets it for her now.  He took her shopping virtually every week for the last few years, but as soon as she could no longer cope with the car journey to the supermarket early last year, he took over completely and he pretty much gets it right each week, he was good at noticing what she loaded her trolley with when they were together and what he packed into her bags at the checkout while she waited to pay.

The things she puts on her list are pretty much the same each week, and until this last couple of weeks she has been determined to keep buying things like custard powder and baking supplies but this is making more work for her in the kitchen at a time when she can't stand up for long to cook.  So we have been introducing her to some ready made foods, custard in little plastic cartons that she can pop in the microwave, shop bought scones, ready prepared and chopped vegetables ... and she recently discovered for herself the wonders of frozen Baked Potatoes.

One of her little 'planet saving' things, just like I do, has been to write her shopping lists on backs of envelopes, scraps of paper or pieces of card, but these are now getting lost in the piles of papers that she keeps here, there and everywhere.  We had a good sort out last week and got rid of so many ancient lists and saved brochures etc etc.  So this week to make up for it I am taking her a posh shopping list pad with a magnet on the back, so that she can have it right next to her on the storage heater ... ready to add things to as she thinks of them and ready to read out to my brother when he phones for her list on a Friday evening.


Far too many people jump to conclusions when they see shopping trollies with lots of little plastic filled bags of ready chopped vegetables or fruit, small plastic pots of baked beans, jelly or custard and think that the person is extravagant or lazy ... or both.  Or that they don't care for the environment and are shopping in some willy-nilly fashion for no good reason, and I have to admit I have sometimes looked into a shopping basket and thought exactly that in years gone by.

We should always remember that we, and people like my Mum were more environmentally friendly before it became a 'thing'.  We took our own bags to the shops, we returned our milk bottles and our pop bottles to the delivery guy or the shop.  We carried home food wrapped in paper bags, chips wrapped in newspaper and walked to the shops for our food, the schools for our children and used public transport in preference to individual cars if we ever ventured further afield.

So if in our twilight years we have to take some shortcuts that will make our lives easier, happier and more manageable ... we should just do it.


Sue xx




34 comments:

  1. I love that meme, you simply don't know what's going on in people's life. It's like blogging, we don't write about everything. Only the snippets we think might be interesting to others. I really don't like supermarket shopping. I'm in and out as quickly as I can. Maybe I should slow down and make an effort to enjoy it xxx

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    1. I've been really enjoying taking my time and shopping in our Booths supermarket. It's similar to Waitrose and sometimes can be more expensive than Aldi ... I find myself picking things up and thinking this would be a LOT less in Aldi. But it's a calmer, and mostly quieter shop and now I'm not buying much I can afford to spend more on the amount I am buying and take my time over it. And they still have a Food Bank trolley, so it's a win-win for me.

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  2. I do like that meme. It reminds me of a similar one (attibuted to Robin Williams) which says "All it takes is a beautiful fake smile and they will never notice how broken you are".

    You cannot judge anyone by the snippets they are able to show to the outside world.

    Hope your Mum loves her new shopping list pad.

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    1. Yes, I've seen that meme, with his beautiful smile, so sad.

      I think she will, and it didn't actually cost me a penny as I received a £5 voucher from my Booths card the day before and the pad was exactly £5. :-)

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  3. Oh, PS: good morning, it's Jayne. Changed my Blogger name.

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    1. Oooh I didn't even notice, I just looked at the little image and knew it was you. :-)

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  4. Our shopping routine changed some time ago when we took on my son's shopping again, his support worker who is lovely, would either take him or do it for him but she would spend far too much and also her two hours twice a week is better spent with him at his home doing other things with him. I go twice a week and do ours at the same time ,my son's shopping is a lot of pre prepared food and ready meals because of his problems where mine is totally different and I often feel that I might be judged because of what is in my trolley, daft I know so this is why when I " trolley watch " ( which for some reason I find interesting ), I don't judge unless I see a young family buying a load of cheap rubbish food and then light a cigarette as soon as they leave the store. I had already made the decision to shop from my freezer and store cupboard and get back to basics as we have far too much food here and there is just the two of us but after so many years of cooking I think I would quite like one day a week where I don't and the idea of chucking a frozen jacket spud in the microwave sounds very appealing x

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    1. It sounds a MUCH better use of the support workers time to be in your sons home doing things that he needs there rather than shopping, and it means you get time with your son while you shop together and lots of things to talk about.

      I'm glad I'm not the only trolley watcher. I loved it when I was an online shopper for a year in Sainsbury's when it was a relatively new thing. I was literally getting someone else's shopping and enjoying the process ... and I got really quick at it. It was good getting paid to shop, and of course I got staff discount so after my shift I could go round for myself buying all the bargains that I had spotted during my shift.

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  5. That's very true, Sue. None of us know exactly what goes on in other people's lives and we often get judged for what others think of us based on what they see or what we reveal - I know I do, I often get snide comments on my blog, which I don't publish. I try not to let it get to me though, which is easier said than done. I've noticed people get frustrated or even annoyed when it's an older person in front of them in the queue, who is taking their time packing their shopping away. I just think, that could have been my mum, or indeed could be me in a few years' time! So I ask if they want any help - even if they say no thank you, it puts a smile on their face.

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    1. I'm an impatient person with a very quick brain in a rushed world, so I have to make a superhuman effort to slow down, but I seem to be getting so much better at it. An older or slower person in front of me at the supermarket is now seen as a chance to lean on my trolley and relax for a few minutes, traffic jams are seen as time to look around etc etc

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  6. Absolutely right and thank you. As a disabled person, I can appreciate your mother's needs, I get shopping online completely now and it is much more efficient than taking a taxi and paying the driver extra to help or to wait, and most of the time the shoppers do a great job. Best to you, Mum and brother.

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    1. Online shopping is a real boon isn't it. Mum tried it for a while, but she can no longer manage the steps on the computer to buy it or put all the shopping away when it arrives, but at least she tried.

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  7. You should never judge peoples shopping - my mum used to prepare everything from scratch but can now hardly hold a knife so ready prepared fruit and veg and ready meals are a life saver for her. There are two blogs I read think that constantly criticise those who buy ready prepared food because they see it as a waste of money- they don't seem to think about those who can't prepare food.

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    1. No, I would never judge what someone buys for themselves, we are all living different lives that no one but ourselves knows or understands. I am slowly but surely giving up on blogs that criticise and moan at the world. If you can't understand something or why it's done I think they should just not mention it or at least ask about it from their readers.

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  8. I just don't really think we should be judging anyone for anything. I think, all in all, people do the best they can. It's a hard task, choosing to see people as human beings instead of judging them, but it is something that I really try to pay attention to. Interestingly enough, when I'm judging my own judgmentalism, I find that I'm less likely to judge others.

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    1. That is the most perfect comment Debby, thank you. I agree with every word. xx

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  9. What a lovely thought provoking post, we all need to just stop sometimes and think what it might be like in someone else's shoes don't we?
    Alison in Wales x

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  10. How lovely you have all these items in the store for your Mum. I never see them in the stores where I am (isolated area of Canada). I only wonder why people don't bring bags to the stores here but pay for them. One store I do my stock up as gives a discount for bringing your own bags/totes so I always bring mine. I can save up to a dollar doing that.

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    1. It is wonderful the range of ready prepared foods that we can get hold of these days in our country, it must help so many people. My heart sinks if I ever get to a shop and I haven't got my reusable bag, it's very rare these days but it does happen occasionally. Having to pay 50p for a Bag for Life means that it gets used over and over and then is usually put in the Food Bank trolley with my next donation.

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  11. Your story reminded me of when I received a telephone call from a relative who was alarmed to discover, when visiting my widowed father-in-law, that he didn't have any fresh veg in the house. I had to explain that he had been distressed by having to throw away large amounts of fresh veg after my mother-in-law had died and he could only buy it in amounts that were too large for him. We had advised him to buy frozen as he could just take the correct amount out of the bag as and when. It was the perfect solution for him.

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    1. Frozen fruit and vegetables are such a boon for single folk aren't they and such a money saver too. Knowing the food is as pure as it can be and frozen at it's very best is such a bonus. I always have mixed vegetables, spinach pellets, peas and various berries in the freezer these days ... along with chunks of bananas that I freeze myself to make smoothies or 'nice-cream'.

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  12. So very true in that we don't know what is going on in a persons life. Gentle and kind is the way to be.

    God bless.

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    1. It really is, wouldn't the world be a much lovelier place if more people were kind and gentle. xx

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  13. Haha - whilst we need to adapt as we age, I'm afraid I look at younger people's trolleys and think "really??!" on occasion. I occasionally kid myself that a frozen pizza is a good addition to the freezer for those nights when I can't be you-now-whatted to cook, but they disappoint on every occasion!

    My husband won't have a jacket potato even re-heated in the microwave as he says it doesn't taste the same (I guess the m/wave steams it) but good for your mum that she has found a way that suits her. Does she cook her veg in the microwave too? A great saving of time and power and washing up!

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    1. Oh, I have a couple of vegan pizzas that really do deserve freezer space for the nights that I can't be bothered ... and they taste good cold for breakfast the next day too, so I can now manage a whole one on my own. :-)

      Rather weirdly I seem to have mastered 'the perfect baked potato' in my microwave just recently. Whether it's my newish microwave or the fact that I do it in a high sided covered bowl turning it just once halfway through cooking I don't know, but I've currently got it just right. Shhh ... I don't want to jinx it!!

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  14. My mother sends my sister her fortnightly food delivery order, my sister does all the computer part. From time to time they have to add a bottle of wine to get it up to the minimum! Putting it away is tiring for her, but less now than when she had to wipe everything down during covid.
    I think at the moment she is shopping at M+S with a volunteer. I am so impressed by "Clara", she helps quite a few people but won't take any money for petrol. Clara can reach things on higher shelves and checks the dates on everything. The main thing she likes from M+S are the ready meals. I think she still feels guilty about eating them, but her osteoporosis is so bad she can only manage a few minutes standing so making meals takes hours, being broken up in 10 minute or so sections.
    Food waste is very much on her mind.
    "Lazy food" gives her independence.
    Helen

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    1. Mum loves the M&S small ready meals too and my brother makes sure she has a little stock of them in the freezer or fridge at all times. 'Lazy food' definintely has a place for so many people, for really genuine reasons.

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  15. A good point to keep in mind when you see what other people are buying. Little containers of individual servings of fruit kept me going when I was undergoing chemo and lost my appetite, had nausea, and so fatigued that all I could do was sleep. I didn't have the energy to cut up fresh fruit or even open cans and put the contents into separate containers. I'd eat one of the fruit cups and crawl back into bed.

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    1. Exactly this, we are so lucky these days that we can make these choices aren't we and it isn't until we have times of bad health that we realise. I hope things are better for you now. xx

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  16. I have also been shopping differently over the past few months. Instead of a big monthly shop and a small weekly shop I now shop every Monday and Friday with just £10 (for two of us) to really make me very conscious of what I need rather than want . It’s working; I’m spending far less than I was before all the prices went up. I also put £30 into a ‘savings’ pot every month so that I can do a big stock-up every few months including cleaning materials

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    1. I have no idea who you are as you forgot to leave a name, but that sounds like a brilliant plan. It does make you very aware of what you are spending and what you already have at home when you try to stick to a nice tight budget doesn't it.

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  17. Your Mum is so lucky to have you and your brother looking out for her. I must admit to being fascinated by the contents of people's shopping trollies, the same as I am with what they buy in charity shops, not to judge (hell, we're usually buying booze) but just because I'm a people watcher. xxx

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    1. I am definintely a people watcher, so is Alan ... and now the dogs are older they are too. If we go to the park they like nothing better than a quick sniff around and then settling down under a bench to watch the world go by.

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